


Choices

by tella



Series: Mortal Instruments [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 12:26:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20097214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tella/pseuds/tella
Summary: Alec's back story in City of Bones





	Choices

Chapter One

Alec groaned as he rolled over in his bed, reaching over to turned off his alarm. He had to meet Jace and Izzy for training, but he was still tired and sore from his training with Jace last night. The Clave was sending Representatives later today to test him and Jace on their progress in becoming parabatai, it would be the third, and last test. He knew with the ceremony due to take place in two weeks the Clave had become more obsessed with their testing to ensure that they hadn’t made a mistake in allowing him to take a parabatai, but he was again questioning why he thought taking a parabatai was a good idea.

He sat up and looked at his right wrist, running his other thumb over the dull grey mark. He remembered when his parents explained why Jace was coming to stay with them, their father had explained to them about Michael Wayland being his parabatai and because Michael had been killed Jace, Michael’s son, was coming to live with them. He had been intrigued about the parabatai bond. Alec had asked his parents what a parabatai bond was and when they had explained he had thought the bond could help him cope with his broken soulmate bond. Not wanting to go to his parents and be reminded by his mother that he was defective because of it, he had gone to Hodge and asked him about it.

_~~~ *** ~~~_

_Hodge smirked as he sat in his char beside the roaring fire in the library. He had been sat enjoying the peace and quiet when Alec had entered the library and took a book, sitting down in the couch beside his chair. He hadn’t said anything at first as Alec was often found in the library, but for the last twenty minutes the thirteen-year-old boy hadn't changed the page of the book, his eyes darted from the book to Hodge. He knew Alec well enough to wait until he was ready to talk, but he was worried if he waited any longer the boy would chew a hole in his lip._

_He sighed as he closed his book before he reached over and tugged Alec’s book out of his hands and placed them on the table. He sat back and looked at Alec, waiting for the boy to look at him._

_“What’s up?” he asked once he had the boys attention._

_“I wanna know about the parabatai bond,” Alec said._

_“Alec,” he said and gave him a sad smile. He knew what the boy was hoping and hated to be the one to tell him, but with a sigh he gently explained, “You can’t get the bond.”_

_“But…”_

_“I’m sorry, Alec.” Hodge said as he tried to comfort the young boy, “But the Clave have never let a Shadowhunter with a soulmate mark become part of a parabatai.”_

_“Never?” Alec couldn’t help but ask._

_“No, I’m sorry,” he said, “They’re unsure of how the two bonds would react to each other.”_

_Alec let out a disappointed sigh as he stood up. He shot Hodge a small smile as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and muttered “Thank you” before he turned to leave._

_Hodge watched him leave, wishing he could tell him something that would cheer him up, make him feel better, but he had never lied to the Lightwood children and he wouldn’t start now just to give the boy a few minutes of false hope._

_***_

_Alec let out a frustrated groan as he tossed another book on to the growing pile of useless books. After he had left Hodge in the library he had at first been disappointed, he had hoped that the parabatai bond would help him with his dead soulmate bond. He had gone to bed that night with the disappointment weighing him down and the fear that he would forever be feeling like he was broken, empty and lonely._

_He had woken up from another sad dream of his soulmate and became determined that he was going to find everything he could on the parabatai bond. So, after breakfast he holed himself up in the library and set about hunting down all the books that he could find on the bond. He wanted to find enough evidence he could to support his petition to the Clave to be allowed consideration in applying for the bond. But for the last couple of hours he had become frustrated at the lack of information on the bond._

_“What are you doing?”_

_He jumped in surprise and turned to see Hodge stood behind him, a concerned look on his face as he took in the mess of Books he was surrounded in._

_“I was… I was trying… I needed to… find everything that I could on the parabatai bond…”_

_“Alec…”_

_“I know,” Alec quickly talked over Hodge, “I know what you said… but I thought… I thought that with …with …because of…” he trailed off, eyes dropping to the leather band on his right wrist._

_“I’m… Alec, I’m not sure if that… if that would make it better or worse…” he trailed off as he saw the despair in the boys eyes._

_“But I can’t… I need…” Alec stuttered as he tried to stop himself from becoming overwhelmed and to break down crying._

_“What?” Hodge asked as he stepped around the books as he made his way over to him. He sat down beside him and placed an arm over his shoulders as he urged, “Talk to me Alec, tell me what it is wrong.”_

_“I… I think that the… the parabatai bond can help me… I… I…” he stammered through his explanation as he tried not to break down and cry, “I feel… I feel… so lonely… so empty… it’s like there’s a part of my soul… a part of me that is missing… reaching out and… and… and…but there’s nothing… there’s nothing there… nothing reaching back and I… it’s lonely… I feel so alone… even with Izzy, Jace and you and Max I still… I feel like there’s this emptiness and I… it’s so lonely…” he swallowed back his tears as he said, “I think… I’m hoping that maybe… maybe the parabatai bond will… will help some who… just I have to try…”_

_He cut off as he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and began to cry, Hodge pulled him into his chest and ran a hand up and down the boys back as he let him cry out his loneliness. He understood that it was bad for the young boy, Maryse, his mother had made it clear from the day he was born and had saw the grey mark on his wrist that she was disappointed in him, believing that it meant he was going to be a weak and flawed Shadowhunter and she was never shy in hiding how she felt._

_Hodge waited until Alec’s cries had begun to lessen before he pushed the him back a little and said, “I’m not promising anything, but I can contact the Clave and request the information we need to make a claim for a parabatai bond.”_

_“Really?” he asked, his hope beginning to grow._

_“Yes, but like I said, I can’t promise that they will approve.” He cautioned._

_“I know, I know,” he said as he quickly wiped away his tears and said, “Do you think if we explain about the mark… Do you think they might… might make an exception?”_

_“Maybe,” he said as he again cautioned him, “They might take it in to consideration, but please remember that this might not work.”_

_“I will, I will remember,” Alec rushed as he threw his arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, “Thank you” he mumbled into the man’s neck._


End file.
